I can see this from 8 miles away.
Froggie, 24............look....it's like this.
Kids are not baggage. They aren't nuisances that must be tolerated. They aren't pets that we must make sure have food and water. You can't lock them away when they are in a bad mood. You can't beat them into submission (no matter how much you think you can). They aren't toys and they aren't things to hold up in front of others to say, "lookie what I have".
They are humans and we love them dearly. We spend time with them. Do they sometimes act like little inhumans? Yup.....EVERY SINGLE ONE OF "EM.
I know, I know.......you'll swear to me on a stack of whatever it is you might find your religion in (and on THIS site, it could be anything from The Bible to colorful roll of toilet paper) that YOUR kids won't act out, they will ALWAYS behave, they will NEVER bother other individuals in any place.
And????????you'll be woefully wrong. You could be the doting suck up parent that gives their kid anything they want or you could be Sergeant Hulka. Won't matter......they WILL do things that will drive you absolutley insane.
Then you'll hug 'em and tell 'em how much you love 'em (I hope).
Yeah, every now and then, my wife and I need some adult converse with either the two of us, or just our friends. Yeah, if we can swing it, she'll hang with the kids while I go to the store, or vise versa. However, that's not what parents sign up for. It isn't a part time job. It's a job that lasts from trying conceive (the FUN part) through diapers, throwing up, diarrhea that would make you wonder where it all could possibly come from, to homework, to I don't wan tto eat that food, to break ups with their friends, to broken bones and hospitals, to watching them win an award. It's all part of the job.
I like spending time with my kids and they like spending time with me. There's no earthly reason (except your lack of tolerance and overlying ignorance) that I'd NEED to have a babysitter watch my kid/s while I went to WalMart/Sears/Cracker Barrel/ or Tio Pepes. Yes it IS their RIGHT to spend time with the rest of their family. They do NOT have to EARN time with me or their mother. That's about as REDICULOUS a statement as I've EVER heard.
I get a babysitter when I deem it necessary. When I think it is something they would not appreciate or understand. I don't do it to "punish" them. If that's going to be your MO.....you're kid is going to be the evil twin of Charles Manson while you're out. Having a babysitter needs to fun, for them, AND for the sitter. I'll let you in a little secret Frog and 24. Folks aren't going to pound your door down to watch your kid
I don't get a babysitter because I'm going out to dinner and my kid behaved badly that day and he/she doesn't "deserve" to go. If their mood is such that they CAN'T go on a planned outing, we reassess and go another time. Otherwise, they're part of the family and will be with the rest of us when we do family things.
However, their mood can be wholly unpredictable. On one trip, they can be perfectly accomodating and understanding of having to wait in line, or go from store to store to store to find that thing you can't find, and on other days? They are fine until something snaps......nobody knows why, they just all of a sudden want to be somewhere else, do something else, be something else, whatever. They can't always TELL us because (and I've said this like 40 times) their communication skills are not learned yet. (How long does it take do develop a mature adult, Froggie?) You probably won't answer this any more than any of the other questions. They don't always know or have the words to describe what they want, how they want, where they want, etc. How do you act towards the 6 month old baby that is crying in the mall? Is that a sin too? Is that the parents fault? Should they beat the crap out of THAT kid to make him "behave". Or is it just a baby, and they're trying to tell their parent what they want and how they feel and don't know how.
I think somebody else had it right. You keep talking about how "strict" your upbringing was and how YOUR folks would have never put up with you acting out or you'd have been beaten. Think about that and your lack of patience with a child who might be having a bad day. You've learned, through YOUR upbringing a lack of patience, a lack of tolerance, and have begun to judge those in situations you can't imagine.
I'd rather TEACH my kids.....not punish them into submission. If that makes me wrong in your world and periodically inconveniences, irritates, or annoys you...........so be it. I hope you have the "stones" to confront me about it.
I really think you need to reassess your stance and although I know you're not going to recant in public, and who knows why, I couldn't care less about your pride and we'll never meet, so I hope you do it in your own world.
I hope you've learned something from this thread that life hasn't taught you thus far.
In essence, your apparent philosophy is to take away time with you when they misbehave. (get the babysitter while you go out)
That is way backwards. I hope you fix that before you have kids.
BTW.....my bratty son and screaming daughter regularly serve at the Harford County Homeless Shelter, have gone to North Carolina (August,102 degrees, and mosquitos that looked like dinosaurs) and spent a week in the sweltering heat to rebuild a poor woman's trailer, have volunteered for Habitat for Humanity, are honor roll students, are welcome in any of our friends homes at anytime (including when they're away), participate in 4H events at the Harford County Farm Fair, have NEVER been to a Principal's office (my daughter reads the morning announcements at ther school), and both actually SAY the words "I love you, Dad/Mom" on a regular basis without prompting.
Next time we're eating across from you at Tio Pepe's we'll be sure to spill something, it'll be more fun that way.
1- They weren't really THAT strict.
2- You have a sibling that has spent time in prison/jail
Have you ever told the whole story the first time?
Funny thing too about that whole corporal punishment mindset.
When a kid is 3 feet tall and weighs 65 pounds, a 6'1" 220# man is pretty intimidating.
Not so much for a 5'9" 165# 15 year old that spends his spare time lifting weights, while I spend MY spare time lifting an ice cream spoon.
I always joked around with him saying that by the time he was big and bad enough to whoop me, he'd need to bring a shovel to dig me up.
I was wrong......I can see the day, and it's probably next week.
There is zero threat of him getting beaten. He's not "scared" anymore.
What he DOES have is respect for my authority, and he didn't learn that from my hand or my belt. He learned that from my methods.
(By the way, the words in blue indicate more vocab for Sun forum users.)
No matter how egregious, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
My hope is the last few days has enlightened you enough that at least in your time away from here, the next time you see a young child crying, you'll use the education you've gotten here and be a smidgen more tolerant of that fellow human being.
that thread up in nationals got me thinking about those dang noisy kids ......
where's a good waiter when you need one ......
ah... the good ole days.
Long forgotten poster names. lol.
I like Diego's avatar!
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