Every summer, we get some rich folks who think it would be ammusing to drive by our Trailer Park Community and take pictures of us, as they honk there damn Mercedes Benz horns, and call us Trailer Park Trash! But be warned, the last person who parked never found his car lol! The locals got paybacks, as he could NOT find his car when he came back from a bar down the street. He was a outsider, who thought it would be entertaining to steal someones Trailer Park parking space.
I know some of you kids want to visit a Trailer Park near you this summer, BUT we warned, learn my Trailer Park Survival Skills, or YOU may be leaving without a car, or via Ambulance!
Rule #1, do NOT drink, or get caught with a bottle of Jack Daniels whiskey in the Trailer Park. Yeah, 99.9% of the locals sip on whiskey here! BUT, most of them buy local moonshine from the Rednecks, or they buy Old Crow, I made that famous in the Trailer Park. I have autographed Old Crow bottles for many Trailer Park residents. We consider Jack Daniels the rich man's whiskey. All violaters, will find out, what it is like to have a bottle of Jack Daniels poured on your head!
Rule #2, do NOT attempt to park a rich expensive sports car in the Trailer Park! The last guy who did that last summer, was seen running down a street here, screaming his car has been stolen lol! I will never forget hearing Big Mike screaming at him "Run Loser Run" and he attempted to find his car!
Rule #3, while we are on the car subject, also do NOT attempt to take pictures of the locals here! Many of the hate camera's, and you are almost guaranteed to have someone give you the finger if you try to take a pic of them. Most people here drink heavy, and most are Rednecks and Hillbilly's, they own sshotguns lol, and they love to HUNT. Unless its a Wall-Mart issued camera....keep it home!
Rule #4, do NOT attempt to live here, if YOU own all of your real teeth! Seriously, someone may give you a new dental plan lol. I was in a brutal car accident when I was only 20. I lost my upper teeth, after my face went through the window. I have to be honest, owning dentures has helped me fit in. SeaBond is the favorite denture adhesive here, it has a strong hold on your dentures. By, By Ozziness, Give SeaBond a Try!
Learn these 4 Rules of Trailer Park Survival, if you plan on visiting a Trailer Park this summer. Follow these simple rules, and YOU may become one of us, YOU may fit in like a puzzle piece, YOU may become Trailer Park Trash.....like me...Tim Lumber. If you visit, bring me down some Old Crow!