
Originally Posted by
ms maggie
You seem to be trying to describe a collective, systemic evolution, I specifically spoke to the individual corporation, irrespective of faddish notions of fascism.
You really need to pick up a Hemingway piece and study the elegance and power of simplicity. Any sophomore with a thesaurus can obsfucate-- and to what end? There is something masturbatory at play--satisfying yr own needs, no concern for the reader.
Try this: after you type in something, go back and shorten it by just a bit--start with excessive jargon and tired phrases--scum, fascism etc. Keep the meaning, lose the flaccid oratory.
I hope this makes sense, am operating on no sleep, long story.